Frustration – Day 200

Things are looking pretty dark – Photo: L. Weikel

Frustration               

I’ve been bouncing around a couple of ideas of what I could or might want to write about tonight. It’s #200 – so it seems appropriate that I should redouble my efforts to bring something of value to the table, especially for those of you who’ve been my faithful companions through this 1111 Devotion.

So I decided to scrap my follow up on the abysmal weather pattern we’ve been enduring here in eastern Pennsylvania (and obviously elsewhere, with even more devastating effects), even though the National Weather Service has confirmed that yesterday our area experienced the third tornado in ten days.

That’s some intense stuff.

Devoted to Ideals

Or I could riff on the scary state of our government and our country. But I don’t even like writing that sentence, to be honest. I am fundamentally devoted to the ideals I was taught are the foundation upon which our country was established. And what I’m seeing play out before our eyes is smothering my spirit.

I’m astonished that the principles of integrity and impartiality are such foreign concepts to so many people that they cannot fathom what is happening when others act with those two principles firmly ensconced in their core. That’s really what we’re seeing here with respect to the Mueller report.

Attorney General William Barr came out today in an interview and said that Mueller “could have” drawn a conclusion as to whether crimes have been committed by the President. By saying that, he is being completely disingenuous, because I would bet a million dollars they already had their propaganda campaign in place to completely smear Mueller had he chosen to do that. Why? Because of that obnoxious Department of Justice opinion that states a sitting president can’t be indicted.

Ethics and Integrity

Barr et al. were expecting (hoping) Mueller would adhere to the technicality of that opinion and choose not to indict. But they figured (perhaps because the evidence is so overwhelming?) he would feel compelled to out Trump by stating conclusions based upon the mountains of evidence they gathered.

The thing is, Mueller wasn’t going to allow himself to be cornered like that. He actually has integrity. He honors not only the letter of the law, but also the spirit of the law: which is essentially that it would be unfair to lodge a ‘conclusion’ against Trump if he was not able to refute it. As tempting as it would be to castigate Donald Trump and draw conclusions from those mountains of evidence, as a member of the Department of Justice, he refused to do so.

Barr and the Administration were astounded at Mueller’s integrity. Of course, they also viewed it as a weakness, because it gave Barr the chance to come out with this absurd argument that he’s now touting, which is basically, “Well, Mueller could have drawn a conclusion!”

The Difference Between Can and Should

Even though when Barr says that, he does not mean that Mueller could have ethically drawn a conclusion. Barr just means that Mueller ‘could have’ drawn it. Similar to me arguing that if I accidentally cause damage to someone’s car in a parking lot and no one sees me, I could just choose to drive away.

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

That’s when ethics come in. When integrity is the value that saves us from becoming a country that’s based on what we can get away with.

And that’s pretty much where we are right now.

What can we get away with? What can those who hold astounding amounts of power do when no one is looking? Good Goddess, what do they do when everyone is watching and no one in their own party (which is in the majority) holds them accountable?

If We Don’t Value and Demand Integrity – Who Will?

These are the fundamental questions we’re faced with. I’m incredibly frustrated that the concept of having impeccable integrity was so inconceivable to Barr and the Trump Administration that they just decided to exploit it as weakness, misrepresent it completely, and continue exploiting all of us for their own greedy ends.

Tell us how you really feel, Lisa.

(T-911)

Tornado Alley – Day 199

Deluge in the backyard – Photo: L. Weikel

Since When Did We Move to Tornado Alley?     

This afternoon’s weather was wild. We started receiving alerts this afternoon that moved beyond tornado ‘watches’ to full blown tornado warnings. It’s eerie to be told to ‘take shelter immediately’ when you live in eastern Pennsylvania.

We’re not in Kansas, Spartacus. And it’s weird to feel like we are!

Within minutes of receiving the alert via my cell phone, the skies rapidly turned dark gray/green and the rain cascaded from the sky in a deluge. It was startling how quickly our back yard went underwater.

Then the hail arrived. The size of large marbles, they pounded on our metal porch roof.

Non-Stop Thunder

But the strangest thing of all, which I was not able to capture even in a video, was a low, rumbling, non-stop thunder. And when I say non-stop, I mean that it just kept going and going and going – for at least a couple minutes.

It was the oddest thing. I kept thinking I was hearing things; that perhaps I was experiencing an auditory hallucination that simply sounded like it was non-stop thunder, but was actually just a strange way the pouring rain was impacting our slate roof. Or our front porch roof.

But no. Not only did I go outside to try to get a better bead on the origin of this strange thunder (only to sense that it was not coming from any rain impact with the house at all, but rather was coming from some distance south and a tad west of us). It was at a decibel level, though, that I could not capture with my iPhone (not to mention that the rain was simply so loud itself that it was drowning everything else out).

I was excited to see a good friend post on Facebook that she, too, had heard this odd non-stop thunder. I just wonder what it was.

Funnel Cloud Spotted

Later this evening I saw that what appears to be a substantial funnel cloud was spotted in Warrington, PA. I doubt that what I heard was emanating from there (that’s pretty far away from us), but I cannot say for sure.

I am grateful that my home and animals are all OK – and as far as I know, no one else sustained damage or injury either.

This was definitely intense. I hope all of you are safe and sound.

(T-912)

Tornado Watch – Day 198

Cloud Bank – Photo: L. Weikel

Tornado Watch? Warnings?

Just last Sunday a tornado touched down only a few miles from our home.  It was the first tornado to land in Bucks County in 22 years.

When I left Medicine in Balance earlier this evening, I was bowled over by the wet blanket of dank air that draped over my shoulders as soon as I walked out of the air-conditioned building. It felt like I was walking through warm, musty soup. Looking south, I saw massive thunderheads building.

As I slid into the driver’s seat of my car, I reached into my purse and pulled out my cell phone, switching it from ‘silent.’ My cricket signal for text messages chirped within seconds – a text message from Karl alerting me that our area was under a Tornado Watch until 10:00 p.m. this evening.

It’s Still Wild Out Now

While I am the first to admit that I love wild weather, especially thunderstorms, I also readily acknowledge the unsettled, prickly, hair standing slightly on end feeling that comes with precipitous drops in air pressure that accompany such major storms. It’s a little exciting and scary.

My drive home was highlighted by gorgeous lightning displays. Massive cloud banks flickering pink with slate blue outlines were mesmerizing. The telltale zig-zag of chain lightning also warranted top billing in tonight’s show. Indeed, even as I sat pondering what I might write about tonight, my attention kept getting grabbed by the relentless flashes of light visible through our windows.

We have our whole house fan on and despite that, even as I sit here now, I can hear rain falling from the sky in sheets – but across the road, in the field and trees. All of a sudden the air being pulled in by the fan is 15 degrees cooler. And our wind chimes are crankily clanging one single note; it’s as if they’re stuck in a single-minded, close-loop state.

What Was It I Picked Today?

I’m reminded of the Medicine Cards I chose on my day: Grouse/Raven. I was so preoccupied with my client, and then the other responsibilities of my day that I hadn’t given them a single thought throughout the day.

The key words for Grouse are ‘Sacred Spiral.’ And the pertinent aspect of this card that I was reminded of just moments ago is this:

“…The sacred Spiral is also one of the oldest known symbols for personal power. When you think of Grouse medicine, visualize a whirlpool or even a tornado, for the Sacred Spiral will take you to the center. The spiral is a metaphor for personal vision and enlightenment. Many initiates on Vision Quests pain spiral on their bodies and believe that the Great Mystery will favor them with visions of power and purpose because of this symbol.”

Not sure if there’s any connection here. Or if there’s any significance or message whatsoever. Probably not. But hey – tornadoes are showing up in my life. I’m even being told to watch for them. I’m hoping they start bringing bright flashes of illumination to me and my perspective on my life. I’m craving some new insights.

(T-913)

No Excuses – Day 197

Irises along Tory Road – Photo: L. Weikel

No Excuses   

The weather on this Memorial Day was so exquisitely perfect, I was left with no excuses not to renew my commitment to walking.

Karl was particularly supportive this morning. He suggested that we walk as soon as we finished drinking our coffee and picking our cards this morning. I was touched by his enthusiasm.

A cool breeze ruffled wisps of our hair into our eyes as we set out, the sun shining but not yet burning. Even Sheila trotted gamely along the roadside, getting sidetracked by tall grasses, butterflies, and many a marker left by fellow four legged travelers.

But…Traffic

The worst part about our walk was the traffic. We try to find joy in the fact that so many people are coming to the state and county parks that surround us because we know how essential it is for all of us to feed our souls with connection to Mother Nature. But wow.

Sometimes it really seems like people have their heads somewhere else. (I’m being kind in my description.) We – meaning Karl, Sheila, Spartacus, and I – can be completely off the road when a car approaches, with no cars coming the other direction, and still they seem to not even think that they should give us a wide berth and perhaps slow down to, say, the speed limit (since most people speed on country roads).

Add to that mix the many bicyclists who were out today and you may understand why we were so relieved to get home, in spite of the beauty and serenity of our walk (between cars).

Many Sharing the Road – Including…

Beyond the simple beauty of the day and the joy of walking together, and in spite of the traffic, we did encounter a wonderful box turtle. For a moment, I was afraid for what we might witness: I spotted her just as we were being passed by one car from behind. I saw a bicyclist coming toward us (and the turtle), and another car, also coming toward us, was waiting behind the cyclist for the car that passed us to pass them. (It sounds confusing, but I wanted to capture the confluence of actors in this potentially perilous scene!)

This girl, at least I think she’s a she, was in between all of us. And quite frankly, I’m afraid we may have been the only ones aware of her presence.

Eastern Box Turtle – Photo: L. Weikel

I’m pretty sure this is our first Box Turtle discovery of the 2019 season. My heart leapt into my throat when I realized the vortex of us, cars, bicycles, and turtles that was swirling and playing out before our eyes. But all resolved safely for everyone.

My feet and legs are a little bit sore at the moment, but the 6.5 miles I managed to walk today were worth it. There’s something to this walking thing. I’m still not quite sure yet what, but I know it feels important to me on a fundamental level.

(T-914)

Getting Back in the Groove – Day 196

Walking – One Step at a Time – Photo: L. Weikel

Getting Back in the Groove           

I’ve gotta tell you – getting back in the groove is not as easy as I thought it would be.

The last day I walked any substantial mileage was Saturday, May 4th. On that day I walked 4.5 miles. And the two days prior to that, I walked 6.8 miles and 6.3 miles.

Since then, however? Well, a couple days I walked almost three miles. But not quite. And the rest of the days’ mileages were just pittances. To be sure, given that I was in the mountains of western North Carolina, there were many days when I was visiting Amadell that I may not have walked very far horizontally – but I did manage to climb the equivalent of 18 floors a couple of times. And one day, last Sunday, May 19th , I actually walked 2.1 miles – and climbed the equivalent of 52 floors!

I have to say, that’s pretty impressive. The cool thing, though, was that I barely even noticed I was doing all that climbing.

Losing a Step

Nevertheless, I do feel the effects of stepping away from my dedicated activity. It’s been a struggle to enthusiastically embark upon any of my routes that take me further than my decades-old path of 2.1 miles.

Today I could have tacked on some extra mileage, yet all I managed to clock were 2.4 miles. As I mentioned the other day, it’s been a long week. And the month of May itself, spent predominantly in North Carolina on the side of a mountain, was bound to change up my routine.

So I’m not going to beat myself up too much over the paucity of mileage accumulated this month. In truth, over the past three weeks I often sang the praises (if internally) of the intuition that prompted me to start walking with accelerated gusto around my birthday.

A Book to Inspire

I did find it amusing that I found a book at Malaprops’ (you’ll recall I visited there while in Asheville) that seemed to shout at me from across the room: Walking – One Step at a Time, by Erling Kagge. The English translation from Norwegian was just published this year, and I’ve seen it in a couple of bookstores since I purchased it. It seems to be a staff favorite everywhere I’ve seen it featured.

I’ve only just allowed myself to savor it on the edges, because I’m still immersed in another book that has me contemplating quite seriously what I want to do next with my life.

One thing I know for sure: my ability to walk mile after mile is a profound gift. I do not intend to squander it; indeed, I am determined to reclaim it.

(T-915)

Calling Card – Day 195

Calling Card – Photo: L. Weikel

Calling Card

When I went out on our porch this morning to give it a quick sweep, I looked over the edge and found a calling card. Not, perhaps, the type you might be thinking I’d find, though.

It was not the digestive ‘leavings’ of a creature, thank goodness. Nor was it the entrails of an unfortunate victim of the various four legged and winged predators we have skulking around in our fields, forests, and skies.

Nope. It was a feather. A hawk feather, to be precise. And I could not be more delighted.

As I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before, when Hawk shows up in my life I always sit up and pay attention. Or I at least feel touched by a sense of specialness – sort of like I’m being given a gift from the Nature Spirits.

When I saw that feather laying on the ground this morning, nestled in the grass beside the huge stump of our now deceased English Walnut, a huge smile flashed across my face and my heart quickened. I propped my broom against one of the lattice-worked stools and nearly skipped down the steps, making my way around the back corner of the house to retrieve it.

What a prize!

Pursuing Tasty Snacks? Or…

Of course, on a purely mundane level, discovering a hawk feather quite close to one of my bird feeders does not bode well for my fine-feathered, mostly finch, friends who frequent those very feeders. That’s especially true when I realize that, at that very moment, there are no songbirds anywhere near the feeders. It’s as if they’ve all frozen in motion somewhere, playing avian statues.

And yet, aside from the single hawk feather, there’s no sign of a struggle; not anything close to an indication that a raptor may have snagged a snack and met a feisty refusenik who may even have succeeded in dislodging a feather of its predator.

So why remain on the level of the superficial, the physical, the obvious?

Bringing a Message

I’d much rather contemplate the possibility that Hawk is coming to me specifically to rekindle the flames of my passion for writing. That it may be whispering, “It’s time now, Lisa. Time to stop, take yourself to the creek, and go within. Time to remember why you write. And time to remember our quest many moons ago when we worked together to birth Owl Medicine.”

Yeah, maybe that’s what I want the Hawk feather to mean.

And truth be told it could mean that. It could also simply be calling me and bringing me the message to, “Pay attention.”

A lot has happened in the past few days – suddenly – to people who matter a great deal to me. People I love. And I want them to know how deeply I care, and how much I want them to recover and to get better quickly and easily.

So perhaps Hawk left its calling card to remind me, too, of the message that things (LIFE) can change drastically in the blink of an eye. We all know it; yet sometimes we need the reminder.

Maybe I will gain a little more understanding as the days unfold. Or maybe I just need to let myself be – the messenger.

(T-916)

Long Week – Day 194

Breakthrough Clouds – Photo: L. Weikel

Long Week

It’s been a long week for me. How about you?

Lucky for us, we’re also on the cusp of a deliciously long weekend.

I have to say, I feel as though I fell asleep and woke up six weeks later. Just call me Rumplestiltsweikel!  I’m not ready for us to be entering the halfway month of 2019.

I’ve not even picked Medicine Cards for two days in a row!

But I am looking forward to spending some time on some self-reflection this weekend.

Here’s hoping I come up with some interesting stuff to chat with you about.

(T-917)

What Do YOU See – Day 193

 

What Do YOU See?

So much of what we perceive is influenced by our expectations. Our beliefs about lots of things, but particularly the nature of reality, shape our perceptions.

Obviously, this can occasionally have huge consequences and at other times less significant (indeed, some might argue inconsequential) impacts upon us and our lives.

I try to pay attention to my surroundings. I try to see details and, let’s face it, I try always to remain ‘open’ to whatever messages or meanings might occur to me when I encounter aberrant things in my environment.

Back In the Walking Saddle

I’m glad to report that Karl and I managed to squeeze in a satisfying four mile walk today. It’s been a while since I logged anywhere near as much mileage s as I did through most of April. In fact, that reminds me – I was going to write a post about the number of miles I’ve walked since turning 60. I surprised even myself.

Anyway, we were walking early this evening along a long straight stretch of road that leads to High Rocks. We were marveling at the explosion of growth in all the plants along the road.

As we were walking along, my eyes lit upon something that seemed extremely out of place. I’m sure I did a double take, and know I bent down close to inspect.

First take a hard look at the photo that’s at the beginning of this post (and the one that hopefully showed up in the teaser on Facebook).

To quote a famous Christmas carol: Do you see what I see?

Can You See It?

Candy Cane Surprise – Photo: L. Weikel

Here is the close-up. If I asked you to take 100 guesses as to what I found along the road today, hanging daintily from some sturdy green grasses/weeds, I doubt you would guess what’s in this photo.

And while I don’t particularly ascribe any meaning to this discovery, I do appreciate the magic it brought to our walk. Who finds stuff like this on a walk in the middle of nowhere?

Which reminds me of yet another discovery I made while we were walking a few weeks ago. Hmm. Maybe I do have a few more blog posts left to write!

I wish you all a wonderful Friday filled with ‘sweet surprises’ to be discovered in the most amazing places!

(T-918)

Back to Philadelphia – Day 192

Shhh! – Photo: L. Weikel

Back to Philadelphia           

I have to admit, this week feels a tad interminable.

While I did get some things crossed off my list today, including taking our huge comforter to the laundromat to exorcise it of what appeared to be some rancid dog or cat barf (probably deposited in hostile protest to our being away for several days), I’m feeling a little stressed by the re-acclimation process.

For instance, I’m having a hard time remembering what day it is.

More CLEs In My Future

Tomorrow I head back to Philadelphia for more CLE (Continuing Legal Education). Over the course of the next two days I’ll be brushing up on my familiarity with mediation, with an eye toward application of these skills in the context of Parenting Coordination.

I’ll admit it: I’m a little leery about driving all the way into Center City in the Grey Ghost. Although I have to tell you: she passed inspection! And I drove her home from the Toyota ‘spa’ today and the Red Triangle of Death (RT of D) didn’t come on even once!

Photo: L. Weikel

Another Appointment for the Grey Ghost

In fact, I was so excited to think she still might have some spunk in her that I set up an appointment for Friday to have her ‘ass put back in place.’ Remember when I displayed my Herculean strength and pulled the entire rear entry assembly off the back of her a couple months ago?

Yes, well, the duct tape has been holding the ass-embly on quite ably, but I’ve been crunched by not being able to open the trunk of the car since then. Time to get it fixed if Toyota really feels they’ve fixed the RT of D (and engine light) issue.

So I’ll probably take the 7:00 a.m. train tomorrow.

And if that’s the case…I need to get to bed.

(T-919)

No Fluff – Day 191

Photo: L. Weikel

No Fluff         

I can muster nothing of substance. I can muster no fluff. I admit I almost fell asleep and completely missed writing a post this evening.

I quietly started laughing to myself when I realized I was falling asleep in my chair while composing sentences that barely make sense.

Even now, I’m writing but honestly having a tough time remembering what I’ve even told you from one sentence to another.

I went to bed after 1:00 last night and was up at 5:15.

It’s time for me to go to bed now. I reported to our polling place at 6:00 a.m. and we did not finish counting the ballots until 9:00 p.m.

Tomorrow will be a better post. Tomorrow I’ll finally get a chance to take a walk (if I’m lucky and it doesn’t rain) and actually get a chance to contemplate my experiences over the past two weeks.

Tomorrow I will (hopefully) make more sense.

But tonight I need to snuggle with my babies – pups, cats, everybody.

Good night my friends!

(T-920)