Be-Bopping Around – ND #16

Escher Pups, Be-Bopping Around – Photo: L. Weikel

Be-Bopping Around

Depending upon how organized you are, when you read this post you may or may not have ahead of you at least another half day’s worth of be-bopping around to pick up last minute meal fixin’s or find that final phantom gift that just refuses to ‘click’ into place. Others of you will probably be engaging in the extravaganza of final wrapping. It’s even possible some will be baking or similarly engaged. I’m happy to encourage you to think I’ll be draped beside the fireplace reading a book and sipping a cup of rum-laced nog.

Yeah. I’m sure none of you fell for that fantasy. I’ll tell you what, though. Just re-reading it made me chuckle at the picture it painted in my head. It might even qualify as Crone Porn. Although, come to think of it, it’s probably more a form of Mother-of-Four-Under-the-age-of-10 Porn.

When I think back to my 30s and 40s, I don’t know how I managed to stay upright during the six week sprint from Thanksgiving through New Years. And now with everything more heightened and intense – and I do mean everything – I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to be a parent.

I just hope by 3:00 p.m. or so tomorrow everyone will be very close to unplugging from it all.

OK, by 5:00, then. Man, you drive a hard bargain.

It’s a Test

To determine whether or not you’re stretched too thin and desperately need to break away from all the pressures and expectations, you need to look carefully at the puppy photo at the top of this post. What do you see? Are you sure?

I call this my Escher-Puppies. It’s a bit mind-twisty. Where does one begin and another end?

 

The Rehabilitation

As a person who feels responsible for maintaining a healthy connection with and between all of you, I cannot in good conscience leave you with the Escher Pups as your final image for the day. Thus I bestow upon you the great gobs of cuteness below.

If you’re feeling uptight or stressed out, look at this photo. Now imagine a Christmas-themed photo and maybe you’ll dream tomorrow’s post into being. (No, I did NOT take them to see Santa. I barely did that with my kids. There’s no way I’d do that to my pups.)

And besides, we all know and admit we’re suckers for puppy pictures. It’s the least I could do for all you holiday warriors.

P.S.: Tonight/tomorrow is our final exact Saturn square Uranus aspect. Woohoo! Let’s sit back and watch what happens.

Great Gobs of Cuteness – Photo: L. Weikel

(T+16)

Smiling – ND #9

DECEMBER Tug-o-war & Visitor – Photo: L. Weikel

Smiling

Even though I feel pressed for time this evening since there’s no way I’m going to get this published by 1:00 a.m., I know it’s a feeling I need to let go. And the reason I need to let it go is because I have to tell you how much I’m smiling inside. Even though this may not get sent out at the requisite witching hour, I’m grateful that I’m writing it at all.

I’m finding it hard to articulate what I mean. Let me back up a little.

This afternoon I was playing with Pacha and Brutus, all three of us drinking in the unbelievably mild weather. It had to have been in the mid-60s today, and darn close to hitting 70.

One of our favorite games is a rudimentary form of fetch, wherein I chuck a squeaker dog toy dressed up to look like an animal as far as I can toward our little barn and they run pell-mell after it. Most of the time they chase and tackle each other, ripping the toy out of each other’s mouths, and eventually bring it back to me for another toss. There’s a lot of taunting and teasing that goes on as well. And then there’s the inevitable tug-o’-war, since the toy has floppy legs that lend themselves to puppies digging in their heels and refusing to unclench their jaws.

An Unexpected Sighting

I’d tossed the squeaker creature approximately 358 times, when they stopped halfway back to me and engaged in an epic battle of tug-o’-war. I don’t know what got into them, but neither was yielding. When I started walking toward them to yank it from both of them (would I do that?!), I saw something completely unexpected: the brilliant head of a dandelion peeking out at me from amongst the piles of leaves and assorted other remnants of autumn detritus.

Trained from my 1111 Devotion experience, I had my phone in the pouch of my sweatshirt, the ready to snap a photo at a moment’s notice. As can be seen from the photo above, not only did I capture the resilience of our December Dandelion, I also managed to get a shot of the ongoing battle that was ensuing.

Back to My Gratitude

All of which leads me back to what I was so inartfully trying to articulate at the beginning of this post. Yeah, I’m posting late, so now this won’t get into my readers’ email inboxes until Saturday. But in the grand scheme of things, and remembering how sad I was feeling two weeks ago (when I was in the midst of my posting hiatus), there’s a smile beaming out from my heart center.

Who’d have thought I’d find a dandelion blooming in the midst of our lawn on December 16th? And why in the world would it make me…smile?

While the long-term implications of this (not to mention the devastating tornadoes and storms of last week and yesterday in the South and Midwest) might indicate the deeply troubling reality of accelerating climate change, the simultaneous beauty and worry generated by this sunny countenance is more meaningful because I can share it with you.

When I saw that dandelion and ‘had’ to take a photo of it, all I could think about was sharing it with you. It’s odd! We’re five days or so from the solstice and the shortest day of the year! And the fact that I was walking on the grass in bare feet was weird too. (In more ways then one, I know.)

But what mattered to me was the prospect of sharing it with all of you. In other words, I’m grateful we’ve renewed this invisible but meaningful connection. The fact that you’re ‘out there’ and we’re sharing these moments matters to me. You make me smile.

11 Mourning Doves also decided to hang out with us – Photo: L. Weikel

(T+9)

Every Single Day – ND #2

Waxing Crescent Moon – Photo: L. Weikel

Every Single Day

Every single day in the two weeks since publishing my final post in the 1111 Devotion, I’ve thought about all of you. What a surprise. And I don’t mean that in a cavalier sense of not appreciating your participation in my commitment. I simply never expected to discover just how much my perspective on the world has become connected to contemplating what I might end up sharing with you at the end of the day.

While it’s true I feel like I talk to each of you when I sit here and write each night, I’ve discovered that I look at the world differently because of you.

I guess that’s what doing something every single day for just over three years will do. It becomes a part of you, a part of how you think and who you are. And while it made me sad the first few days to realize, “No; that’s over. I’m not doing that anymore,” I thought the melancholy would dissipate. I assumed my inclination to view the world from the perspective of what might be cool or interesting or magical – or infuriating or troubling – to share with you would abate.

But it didn’t. It hasn’t.

The Gift of the Process

I initiated my 1111 Devotion as a means of holding Karl close, of honoring him. In the process, I experienced the magic of connection. I discovered an unexpected bounty of heart through the challenge of sharing my life with you. Because it was only my commitment to fulfilling my devotion that resulted in the intimacy of sharing that took place. For what else, aside from my own life experiences, could I possibly find to write about for 1111 consecutive days?

Had I not publicly declared my intention to engage in my 1111 Devotion, I assure you I never would have written 1100 of those posts. OK, at the most, I might have written 111. But it never would have occurred to me to write the vast, vast majority of them.

It’s taken me some time to realize that experiencing the most mundane circumstances and experiences with an eye toward sharing them with you elevated them (for me).

I take a photo of the nascent crescent of the moon and now ache to write about the promise of the new monthly cycle it represents. By indulging the urge to share a simple photo of the moon, I remind us all, myself included, to pay attention to the rhythms in our lives. I’m reminded to pause and consider what new thoughts, ideas, or projects are seeking my attention.

What I’ve realized is that, for me at least, it’s the sharing that brings meaning. And that means you, my friends, are an essential part of this equation.

Thank you for being here.

(T+2)

Pupdate – ND #1

Bigger Helpers (Tonight!) – Photo: L. Weikel

It just feels wrong not to write. At the very least, I must yield to the unspoken but palpable need I feel emanating from many of you for a pupdate.

After all, we shared the loss of Sheila. A year later, we collectively mourned the sudden loss of Spartacus. And then I disclosed the dream in which Spartacus showed up and told me – no, directed me – to get another puppy. I confessed how he placed his paw on my arm, looked into my eyes, and said, “You need me.”

I regaled you with the astonishing (and yet not) synchronicity of our Sarah finding a listing for Boston Terrier puppies and how they’d only become old enough to be adopted the very same day I was awakened by that dream. And then…well, we all know what happened next. Karl and I drove all the way across the state and became smitten with the littlest guy in the litter and his only sister.

No, they don’t always sleep, but… – Photo: L. Weikel

Love Triumphed

I think it’s fair to say you shared our heartbreak. And knowing this, perhaps weirdly, I was a little afraid to disclose welcoming these new additions into our family so soon after losing Spartacus. Although we searched our hearts and contemplated our motives, we – or more accurately I, since I’m the one with the relationship with all of you – worried our somewhat impulsive adoption might seem disloyal to Spartacus and Sheila.

I wondered if I should just keep the arrival of our new babies to ourselves.

But as all of you know, love triumphed. On some level, these puppies – Pacha and Brutus – are our collective healing balm. I trusted the internal nudging I received to write about our newest additions to our family. I decided sharing the joy was worth risking being judged.

They do 4 miles like pros now – Photo: L. Weikel

Simple Pleasures

Goodness knows, we’ve shared an exorbitant amount of collective trauma. The past three years have in many ways been like a roller coaster ride through the inside of a House of Horrors. From the personal to the national to the planetary level we’ve been dodging and catching some major body blows. And we took them as a community. Upon reflection, though, I’d say we shared some pretty cool stuff as well.

The truth is, puppies and kittens, regardless of age, make us smile. They remind us of life’s simple pleasures. If we’re lucky enough to have them in our lives, we know the indescribable feeling of being on the receiving end of unconditional love. (We know which species is usually more adept at conveying it, at least un-self-consciously.) And if we’re unable to have them in our lives at the moment, we can share the love vicariously. It’s a fact.

So here I am. Sharing the love. (And missing you.)

Check these puppies out.

Snuggling – Photo: L. Weikel

(T+1)

Wise One – Day 1076

Wise One – Photo: L. Weikel

Wise One

It’s hard to deny the existence of this Wise One. Of course, as always, arguments can be made that the distinctive attributes of this particular tree could be found anywhere, in anything. But I (characteristically) saw them coalesce into a distinctive Merlin-like face. I’d be willing to bet it jumped out at you, too.

At least one name for the ability to see faces in inanimate objects is pareidolia. But the fact that the definition specifically references inanimate objects makes me think it’s not the precise word I’m looking for.

I seem to remember a more specific term reserved for seeing Beings in animate objects, or at the very least, nature Beings. I can’t remember the term at the moment, and besides, I’m not particularly interested in the ‘scientific’ explanation for what I See.

Rather, I’m intrigued by what it might mean that some days these Beings are as clear and obvious to me as the nose on my face, while on other days, I simply do not see them.

Is it a simple reminder that the veil is thin and magic may be afoot? I suppose.

For Whatever Reason

For whatever reason, this old man made himself very obvious to me on our walk today. I can’t say that I achieved any particular insight on our walk, or managed to look at things from an especially unique perspective.

But he did stick with me.

I’m not sure, but I believe he wanted me to write about him tonight. All of which makes me wonder if it’s Nature’s effort to motivate people get out and commune with what’s real. I guess if that’s the only reason he appeared to me today, that should be more than enough. We need all the coping strategies we can get. And right now, I think it’s especially easy for us to forget how much we need our Nature connection.

Brutus & Lamb Chop – Photo: L. Weikel

In the Meantime

Not planning on giving up on my Puppy Streak anytime soon, I’m including these two shots. I don’t know why I feel compelled to include them in every post lately, but I’m just going to follow my intuition.

You have to admit, they bring a smile to your face – even if involuntarily.

You’re welcome. I’m delighted to share.

Tonight’s Puppy Snuggles – Pacha(kuti) facing us – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-35)

Among Us – Day 994

First Glimpse – Photo: L. Weikel

Among Us

It stands to reason that animals in the wild must be watching us and keeping an eye on our unpredictable movements a lot more often than we realize. They’ve lived among us long enough to know that we’re the dangerous ones. Deer, for instance, have been hunted in our area for untold generations.

Yet deer around here are almost considered pets to some people, while others continue family traditions of hunting and keep their stand-up freezers filled. I imagine it must be confusing for deer. Do they trust these noisy two-leggeds? Or should they bolt, leaping their way to safety?

It’s a decision they make at their own peril.

I think a deep preservation instinct is actually more prevalent in those animals that are a step or two on the wilder side than deer. They’re the ones who only rarely divulge their presence when we’re near them. I’m thinking about the coyotes, foxes, and bears – not to mention owls and eagles.

All Eyes On Me

During my recent walks, though? Oh, my goodness. I’ve been aware of so many pairs of eyes on me! It’s almost felt as though Spartacus and I have been receiving escorts all along our route. Over the past week or so in particular, I can confidently state that I cannot walk more than 100 yards without being able to look carefully around my surroundings and spot a pair of eyes locking with mine.

Just this past week I’ve had at least four extended conversations with young bucks, their budding antlers covered in fur. I could tell by their behavior that they know they’re ‘big boys’ and probably shouldn’t fraternize with the two legged. But it’s my experience that we’re all hard-wired to crave connection and communion.

It’s a delicate balance.

First Glance

Tonight, in spite of the rain that continued to fall sporadically throughout the day, I managed to get in a quick two mile walk. I was surprised to see ‘greeters’ all along the way. I almost felt as though many of them were turning their heads toward me and then gesturing to see if I was still coming along.

A couple seemed to literally play hide and seek with me behind a large tree. That was adorable, but I didn’t manage to get a photo of how ‘off’ they were as far as their body awareness.

Another pair, though, seemed to come into focus for me as I stared at a field I was walking past. As you can see from the photo at the top of this post, one deer was just barely visible to me as I walked past her. I don’t even know what caught my eye, but it did.

She seemed to be torn. Part of her trusted me. And yet…

Coming Into Focus

The second time I raised my iPhone to take her photo, I realized there was another deer standing quite close beside her. Neither one moved a muscle. They knew I saw them, and I knew they knew. As a result, neither they nor I moved a muscle. (What amazes me is what a good boy Spartacus is.)

It felt good for me to discern their presence. In a way it reminded me of looking at one of those engraved photos that reveal other images in them when you look at them long enough.

I may only very rarely catch a glimpse of a coyote or a fox or an owl. But the deer play with me.

While it’s sometimes disconcerting to sense that eyes are on me, watching me, from one moment to the next, I’m mostly comforted by it. I feel as if we humans are mostly woefully oblivious, and my compatriots along our walkway are simply training me to be a better neighbor.

Bingo – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-117)

Finding the Light – Day 484

Sunset tree – Photo: L. Weikel

Finding the Light

Wow. What a way to start the week. If you pay attention to the news during the day, finding the light in any of what we were hearing was a tough task.

But the weather helped. The blue skies and bright sunshine were not insignificant, as I guarantee things would’ve felt exponentially worse had it been raining.

It looks like we’re in for a blanket of cloud cover tucking us in tomorrow, but at least without precipitation until a shower toward the end of the day. That’s a lot better than what I saw being forecast yesterday.

While I’m sure the skies being overcast will dampen our spirits somewhat, at least we’ll still be able to get outside for a little bit of one-to-one connection with Mother Nature without getting soaked.

Now More Than Ever

It seems to me that, now more than ever, we need to make a point to get outside and be in nature as much as possible. I’m not suggesting that vast swaths of anyone’s day be spent walking or hiking or riding a bike; it’s not even physical exercise that I’m advocating most. (Although I guarantee no matter what you’re thinking or doing or facing in your life, taking a 15 minute walk will improve your outlook).

No, I’m simply suggesting that at some point in your day, if you can even just walk outside and stand with your face pointed toward the sun (even if it’s behind a bank of clouds), close your eyes, plant your feet, listen for any type of a sign from nature, and take three long, slow, very deep breaths, you will feel better.

Sign From Nature?

What I mean by that is try to see or hear some indication that you’re sharing this planet with something other than just other humans. Identify one natural noise: a bird chirping, a squirrel chittering, the wind rustling leaves or tinkling wind chimes; a dog barking, a bee buzzing, peepers peeping, or crows cawing.

Depending upon where you are when you make your nature connection, you may not be able to hear anything ‘natural’ right off the bat. So you may have to look around, use your eyes or other senses, and find your connection that way.

It feels important that we remember to do this right now. We must remember, we’re part of something much bigger than just being human. We remember that by finding the light of Mother Nature.

Rising full moon – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-627)

Turtle – Day 453

Turtle – Photo: L. Weikel

Turtle

Over the past five days, Turtle has shown up in my ‘picks’ for the day three times. Sixty percent of the time. Given that there are 56 cards from which to choose (four of those being blanks), it’s pretty obvious that Turtle was trying to bring me a message.

On those days, especially, I made a point of paying attention to my connection to Mother Earth by getting and staying grounded. No matter how crappy the weather, I committed myself to walking at least two miles – and on two of those days, I managed to sneak in the entire four mile ‘walkabout.’

Staying Connected

To be honest? I assumed Spirit was counseling me to get grounded, to refrain from flights of paranoia or thoughts of unkindness or intrigue or backstabbing. I took solace in Turtle’s advice to get and stay connected to Mother Earth – knowing in my heart that She would never forsake me – and remembering it’s the times of greatest stress and challenge that ask us to remember from whence our strength and comfort is generated.

So I walked. I walked and watched and listened. I noticed the changeability of the weather and listened to the wind whooshing through the very tops of the pine trees lining the road. I paid attention as flocks of birds responded to the shifts and adjusted their trajectories in order to make the most of the changing conditions they encountered.

Is It the Shell?

I wondered, as I walked, “Is it Turtle’s shell I’m being called to notice?” That’s such an obvious aspect, the protection afforded by its shell, its home; the ability to withdraw, tuck in, retreat. Yet, I wasn’t sure.

Yeah, I could withdraw. I could. But as tempting as that was, the message felt less a call to withdraw as it was a demand for connection.

“If you have chosen the Turtle symbol, you are being asked to honor the creative source within you, to be grounded to the Earth, and to observe your situation with motherly compassion. Use the water and earth energies, which represent Turtle’s two homes, to flow harmoniously with your situation and to place your feet firmly on the ground in a power stance.”*

Gratitude

And then it dawned on me. Two of those three days I chose Turtle, it appeared reversed. I realized I needed to pay particular attention to what the reversal of Turtle could be trying to convey to me:

“The idea of a Turtle helplessly trying to right itself after it has been flipped upside down can also symbolize contrary Turtle. You are not a victim, and you are not helpless, no matter how much it may see like this is the case in your present situation. To right the ill-dignified Turtle, you need only list the things you are grateful for, and from that grateful place in your heart, look for the abundance of alternatives that Mother Earth gives.”* (emphasis added)

Ah yes.

It’s essential to make the effort to be present and aware of my life, my friends, my connection to Spirit, including the amazing array of blessings my life offers me every single day. It’s important to feel snowflakes flecked with sleet nick my cheeks only a day after hearing peepers prematurely sing their spring songs.

In embracing my connection to Mother Earth and realizing the protection the shell of my blessings provides me, I realize: She really does provide us with an abundance of alternatives.

Another Turtle Altogether

So tonight, I chose to indulge in the joys provided by another Turtle altogether:

Sometimes, my friends, we just need the comfort and love that a milk chocolate cashew turtle from Pierre’s Chocolates can offer. And so? I indulged.

A different type of turtle – Yum – Photo: L. Weikel

*excerpted from Medicine Cards, by Jamie Sams and David Carson – affiliate link

(T-658)

Digesting the Day – Day 382

Photo: L. Weikel

Digesting the Day

We didn’t get a chance to take a walk today. I regret that, but by the time we got home it just felt too late. We were tired.

Which is pretty much the reason why we should’ve dug down deep and at least one or the other of us insisted that we do so. Precisely because we were so tired, we should have made a point of hauling our carcasses outside and marching our behinds up the road.

Emotional Weariness

Yeah, we were a little tired from the drive to and fro. But honestly, it was a gorgeous day outside, with only the occasional sprinkle from an errant dark cloud blowing through. Two and a half hours each way is not that significant an investment in love and family.

No, the weariness was emotional. That’s usually the most devastating. But interestingly, it’s also, in my experience, the most susceptible to reinvigoration by an immersion in nature. So it is a pity that, in spite of knowing this, I did not insist.

No. In many ways I betrayed my knowing – my knowledge of the secrets surrounding walking and listening to nature and the need for both in order to recover from toxic disconnection.

Toxic Disconnection

This concept is probably at the root of the vast majority of unhappiness, fear, rage, and disappointment we see in the world. And by it, I’m referring to the tendency of so many in our lives, in our families, and in our social circles to speak to the matter of loneliness or isolation with more of the same.

Why is it that so often we humans run away at full speed from the concepts and practices that would keep us connected? Connected to ourselves, to each other, and to the land.

I’m sure I don’t know. Is human nature simply contrary?

Loneliness

One definition of loneliness (via dictionary.com) is: “destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship, intercourse, support.” There’s a ton of loneliness in the world. There’s an untold number of people who feel cut off from, or deliberately make a point of cutting themselves off  from other people and the support they could easily receive if they gave themselves permission.

I think the worst part of witnessing loneliness is the realization that the antidote is right in front of most who suffer from it. They may rebuff gestures of outreach from other humans, both related and not. And that’s a pity. But the greatest violence they do to their hearts and spirits is refusing to accept the love and connection that abounds around all of us if we just open our eyes, ears, and hearts – in particular, the love from Mother Earth and her many expressions.

I’m close to falling asleep. This digestion needs further contemplation.

A Simple Message

But I will leave with this short video clip. Six minutes or so that may start your day off in an attitude that will get you – and keep you – connected to what’s important.

Have a great day and know it is all so much simpler than what we’re told or believe.

Photo: L. Weikel

(T-729)

Welcome to Amadell – Day 178

Arriving in NC – Photo: L. Weikel

Welcome to Amadell        

It’s said that if you want to get to know a place, it is helpful to connect with the land that you’re visiting: ideally skin to skin, or bare feet to grass, whatever way you can find to make direct connection with the land you are visiting.

I learned about this decades ago, when one of my earliest teachers recommended walking barefoot in a new country or area I might be visiting, particularly if I’d flown in an airplane to get there.

Earthing

Some might say you are simply connecting with the electrons produced by the Earth and synchronizing your energy with that of the land where you find yourself: the energy of that particular place. Indeed, studies have shown that ‘earthing’ or ‘grounding’ can literally improve our physical, psychological, and emotional health. I dare say our spiritual self, too, improves exponentially when we reconnect with Mother Earth.

Another practice which sort of goes hand-in-hand with making a physical connection with the land you’re visiting is a favorite activity of mine: speaking directly to the Spirits of the Land on which you’re standing. Nature spirits are everywhere, and it is always polite to speak to and ask permission of the spirits of the land to enter that place.

Gestures of Friendliness and Gratitude

It’s also helpful to make a gesture of friendliness and gratitude to the spirits of a particular place for their anticipated hospitality. It’s helpful, too, to make an offering – a piece of candy or chocolate, a cookie, etc. is often appreciated. Native North Americans often offer a pinch of tobacco or cornmeal.

And if you’ve forgotten to bring a snack or traditional offering, your gift can be as simple as a couple strands of your own hair. Using your breath to imbue your hair (or any of the other gifts) with you heartfelt gratitude for being welcomed to that place and then placing it on the earth with a spirit of generosity and appreciation is all it takes to make a spiritual connection to the spirits of the land.

Amadell

I arrived today at a magical place: Amadell. Amadell is a spiritual and nature sanctuary in the Appalachians (Smoky Mountains) of western North Carolina.

Not only did I have the chance this afternoon to connect directly with the land here at Amadell by laying my spine directly on her surface, I was given a particularly magical opportunity to connect with the spirits of this land by listening to the voices of some of the land’s inhabitants.

Listening to a May Apple serenade – Photo: L. Kraujalis

Connecting with the Song of May Apple

Specifically, because I happen to be lucky enough to be here at the same time that Peter May is, I lay with my back on the earth and actually listened to the songs of May Apple, Ramp, and other plants growing abundantly upon the mountainside.

What an exquisitely intimate and grounding experience.

To say I feel welcomed and at home here wouldn’t do justice to the magical sense that I’m filled with at the moment.

Peter May – Photo: L. Weikel

Peter May and The Sonic Apothecary

Peter May is many things, ranging from a musician, an alchemist, a wisdom-keeper to a plant whisperer – and you can read more about him at The Sonic Apothecary. Working with technology that picks up on the electrical signals emitted by plants and translates them into musical tones, Peter makes communication with the elemental world more accessible. If you visit his site, you can also hear a sample of the songs of various plants.

As a result of my experiences this afternoon, I am feeling an intimacy with the land and the spirits that live here that feels healing and creative. I feel nurtured and nourished. I feel connected and welcomed.

Of course, the human caretakers of this land, the Kraujalises, make me feel this way also. I am filled with gratitude for their generous friendship.

(T-933)

**I should note that I have photos that I wanted to include in this post – but alas, the perils of being on a mountain include sort of cranky internet service that gets stuck uploading photos. I’ll keep trying, but…