Wow. Here I am, teetering at the tipping point, the very center of the see-saw that is the commitment I made to honoring Karl’s prolific creativity with an Act of Power, a devotion of my own.
As I explained at the beginning of this particular journey, on 11/11/18, the seventh anniversary of Karl’s death, I was sitting here in our living room contemplating my son’s brief but intense life and wondering how I could in some way honor him.
To be honest, I’m a bit disappointed in myself that I never took up a cause or created a foundation or became an advocate dedicated to fiercely and fearlessly changing society or improving people’s lives in his memory. There’s a part of me that wishes I’d channeled my grief in such admirable ways.
But I didn’t.
Instead, on that 7th anniversary of his death, I listened to the messages I was receiving and followed the signs. I determined that the nudges I was getting were for me to simply enter into a daily act of devotion reflecting my love for him and the fact that a day does not go by without him in my thoughts, in my heart, and influencing my life.
1111 Devotion
As I wrote in my initial post in this endeavor, “(a)ccording to the World Book Dictionary, a definition of devotion is ‘…3. The act of devoting or setting apart to a sacred use or purpose; solemn dedication; consecration.’ (…) This blog will be my visibledevotionto my son’s memory. My Act of Power.For the next 1111 days, I will create a post.”
In the first few days of following through on this bodacious commitment, I struggled with all sorts of internal beliefs and expectations. I did manage to describe here at least a few of the messages I’d received on the day I set this intention that confirmed this was an appropriate dedication.
I even received confirmation of the magnitude of this devotion (1111 consecutive posts), and wrote about that here.
Today I Stand At the Center
Inasmuch as 1111 does not divide equally, tonight’s post and tomorrow’s post, together, mark the halfway point of this great adventure. I consider tonight’s post the tipping point, for the moment I hit <publish> this evening, I will hit the tipping point. I won’t quite be on the downward trajectory. I’ll be at the apex.
In truth, I am not arriving at this tipping point alone. I know many of you have walked with me every step of the way, slogging through some really sucky posts, but supporting me nevertheless.
I think the worst thing about what’s unfolding before our eyes is our country’s adoption of an attitude of plain old not giving a shit.
We see it all over the place, and of course, the main sources are those who have the most stature and, sadly, are the most notorious in our culture.
The definition of notorious? – Adj., widely and unfavorably known. (Emphasis added)
It seems to me that we’re losing something huge when those to whom we accord great responsibility and respect act in ways that make it excruciatingly clear they don’t give a shit.
When the Notorious Set Precedent
When, for instance, they do not care whether they’re exposed as taking advantage of their stature to curry favor or monetary gain. Or are exposed as tax cheats. Or are exposed as flagrantly making money on stock trades made moment before passage of legislation they took part in crafting and passing. Or are shown over and over and over again to simply lie for the sake of lying (or seeing what they can get away with.) And I’m only scratching the surface.
We are slapped in the face, day in and day out, with examples of people gaming the system, or simply flipping the table on it, in big ways and small. Cheating is exposed every day. We are drowning in corruption. And the prevailing attitude? Who gives a shit? And ultimately, “Then I might as well get mine.”
Yes, I’ll admit it: I’m old school. I’ve been a follower of rules for most of my life. A ‘good girl,’ if you will. I basically respect law and order, and I place great respect in the founding documents of our country and the laws, rules, and regulations passed by our legislative bodies.
Society Functions Best With One Set of Basic Values and Rules
I’d say my perspective is primarily that society functions best when we share a basic respect for the fundamentals. When we feel that the rules (laws) exist to make life run smoothly and efficiently. That stoplights are at intersections for a reason. That society deems certain actions to be crimes because they harm the rest of us (whether it be one of us, as in an assault, or all of us, as in dumping toxic waste into streams in the dead of night).
My issue with the way our country seems to be headed right now (more so than at any other time since the early 20thcentury and the reign of the robber barons) is that there seem to be two sets of rules. The rules for most of us, and the rules for the rich and powerful.
And that’s where things really get dicey. Because as more and more people see that nothing really matters, nobody gives a shit, or rules are made for suckers, a precedent is set. As more people witness all the little cuts to our country’s moral and ethical and decent body day after day, the more likely it is they’ll decide they don’t need to be decent, follow the rules, or obey the laws, either. And that’s when anarchy sets in.
No Lack of Enforcers
Oh yeah, we can take solace in the fact that there will always be police (probably more and more) and other ‘enforcers’ to go after those who do not have the money or power to fight for their innocence. Yippie. We’ve seen enough of that skewed justice lately to make us all lose faith in our system. And when more and more people stop giving a shit? There won’t be enough police or enforcers to take care of all that’s going to go down.
Just taking a walk today (picking up two grocery bags’ worth of garbage along the way, thank you everyone for coming out to enjoy High Rocks State Park – we love to pick up your fast food wrappers, cigarette butts, empty soda cans and beer bottles – so nice of you to come out to the country to enjoy Mother Nature and then effectively take a dump out your car window), we witnessed lots and lots of people just doing whatever they want. This vehicle, for instance:
Seriously. This was only one of many vehicles illegally parked directly, flagrantly, underneath signs that state in big bold letters: NO PARKING ANY TIME. (There was yet another identical sign posted right in front of the truck.) The main reason for the prohibition of parking on this single lane dirt road is because people fall at High Rocks. Often. Accidents happen. Emergency vehicles need to be able to get through, to get near enough to rescue people.
Why Should Anyone Follow the Rules?
But hey. Who cares? Who cares if something happens while you’re deep in the woods and no one can get around your truck? Nobody gives a shit. Rules are made for suckers. It’s ok. Steal a movie off the internet. Cop a feel at a bar. Go to a sex club where 13 year old girls are passed around. Everybody does it. (At least, the rich and powerful do it.) It’s OK. You won’t pay a price. In fact, it will get swept under the rug. Nothing matters.
These are the lessons and attitudes flooding our collective consciousness every day. I fear we’re becoming numb to it. To the outrageous and blatant disregard for basic decency, fair play, and respect for others.
We Need to Be the Ones Who Care
Yes. I am worried. The examples being set are impacting all of us – but especially our youth.
And yet, in spite of it all, I refuse to believe that integrity and honor are dead. I refuse to believe that doing the right thing when no one is looking is stupid. Or for suckers. Or a lost, outmoded way of being in the world.
Integrity matters. Honor matters. Caring and respect and right actions matter.
We matter. We need to stand for what we know is right. We need to give a shit.
