Back on Track

Bursting Daffodil – Photo: L. Weikel

I have a confession: I’ve been absolutely indulgent lately. I know it’s been a stress response, but I also know that succumbing to the temptation to “eat for today since tomorrow may not come” is a tad short-sighted. I’m ready to get back on track.

It’s weird how we can blame our behavior on almost anything. Yes, we’re in the midst of a pandemic the likes of which hasn’t been experienced in a century. And yes, our country seems to be falling apart at the seams.

I’ve typed and deleted a number of sentences and paragraphs. And the truth is, I don’t want to rail against anybody or anything this evening. I want to stop going for the sugar high.

To be fair in my depiction of myself, I’ve only fallen asleep on my determination to eat as healthily as possible throughout this pandemic experience over the past week or so. Of course, the two birthdays within a few weeks were probably the catalysts.

Once I start eating cake, my inner Indulgent One starts to regain her voice. And wow, can she be mouthy. And persistent. And oh-so-persuasive. So I’m finding myself facing the consequences of a good three weeks of rampant indulgence.

Harder to Look On the Bright Side of Life

One of the most striking results of my consumption of a lot of baked goods is feeling down. Especially when I eat a lot of stuff with icing. My usual perspective is gone. Out the door.

And quite honestly, I find it pretty hard to talk myself out of my miserable perspective when I’m wallowing in it.

All of which brings me here: to this page, at this moment. I am tired. I know that my crappy perspective is tied 100% to what I’ve been eating. And what I’m feeling right now is trickling into everything. I don’t want that to happen.

But Not Impossible

So I’m going to cut this short. I’ll include a few photos that will hopefully call in the perspective I seek, and then I’m going to say goodnight. If all goes well, my optimism will return – if not tomorrow, certainly by Tuesday. It never ceases to amaze me how profound an influence my nutrition has on my entire experience of life.

The most important lesson here is remembering and reclaiming what I can control. No, I can’t control a whole heck of a lot that’s going on in the world right now. But I can control what I put into my mouth. And the sooner I see (actually remember, as this is nothing new) that I actually feel better when I’m eating clean and going really easy on the desserts, the better I’ll be able to enjoy creating a new way of life for myself and my family.

And right on cue, the winds are whipping up outside. Facilitating the shift. Getting me back on track.

Change is coming.