March Sunset – Photo: L. Weikel
Responsibility
I have a confession to make. I feel as though I’ve shirked a responsibility that I take quite seriously. And yet, the act itself harkens back to a different time in our my life.
Tonight, Karl and I chose to refrain from watching any news on television.
Perhaps that sounds weird. I suppose it’s possible for people to be living life without paying much attention to what’s happening on the national and international stage. But for me? That feels irresponsible.
Actually, I’m feeling a swing of reactions, from a calm sense of relief that I’m not immersed in the world of politics and upsetting news of violence and hate crimes that seem more apropos of Escape from LA than it should be to live in the world in March 2019, to a foreboding sense of moral responsibility.
I’m pretty sure I’ve written about this before. It may have been another evening when I allowed myself to indulge in the sweetness of silence by turning off our television. Yes indeed, I’m pretty sure I even called my post Evening Silence.
Not One Minute Today
Tonight is a little different than that night. In fact, while I haven’t kept meticulous track of my viewing habits, I bet this is the first weeknight I’ve not watched even one minute of news since I began my 1111 Devotion back in November. Wait. That might not be precisely true. The holidays of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, and possibly Thanksgiving, I think I may have abstained as well. But holidays are like weekends: major world or life events that demand our attention just aren’t supposed to happen on those days.
Of course, we all know that’s not true; it’s not reality. But we pretend it is.
As a result, as a direct consequence of that pretending, I rarely think twice about what’s going on “out there” on weekends and holidays.
But wow. Today is a regular workday. It is a day that falls on the heels of some wretched events that simply make me want to weep. We are being forced to contemplate the nth degree of cruelty that humans inflict upon each other. And it’s happening over and over again, seemingly day after day. And it hurts.
Have I Hit My Saturation Point?
I’m a bit concerned that I’m reaching my saturation point. That concerns me, because it feels like succumbing to that sense of precipitous overload is playing directly into a nefarious agenda. An agenda being set by those who would have us live lives based in fear rather than on love and compassion.
It will be interesting to see how Karl and I choose to spend our evening tomorrow. Will we make it two weeknights in a row without watching the news? I doubt it.
I guess we’ll see.
In the meantime, I feel my responsibility in this moment is to not watch the news. Rather, it is to do whatever I need to do to keep the faith. To hold the center for anyone or anything I can, in order to help us all survive this onslaught of division, fear, and yes – terror.
Holding Our Center – In Grief – With Ritual and Respect
To that end, in case you haven’t seen this gut-wrenching and culturally unique (but pan-cultural in its impact upon us when we witness it) tribute to the grief being felt in New Zealand, I am offering it here.
I dare you to watch this young man and not be moved. I challenge you to witness these students performing this ancient ritual and not sense our common knowing, deep within our bones, that what is happening to one country or culture is happening to us all.
It is our responsibility to feel the tears of our souls, even if they express themselves as a lump in our throat or a clenching in our stomach. No matter how the tears show up for you, feel them. It is our responsibility – to ourselves and to each other.
(T-984)